Aggression
What is Aggression?
In psychology, the term aggression refers to a range of behaviors that can result in both physical and psychological harm to oneself, others, or objects in the environment. The expression of aggression can occur in a number of ways, including verbally, mentally and physically. – Kendra Cherry
Find out more about aggression in this section – if you have a story to share that you feel may be helpful to others please send it to us and we’ll consider including it. Please understand there are all kinds of reasons why we can’t include some personal submissions but most of the time we can include submissions received from you and others. Thank you – take care; find out more here and remember your life is very precious. Your Life Counts and we’re here for YOU!
Dealing with Anger
We all get wound up sometimes. Feeling angry about certain things which ‘aren’t fair’ or ‘not right’ is normal. However, there are healthy and productive ways to deal with anger. We need to learn some control over how we express our feelings.
Anger Between You and Others
When you are angry with someone, try to stay calm and tell them how you are feeling. Part of communication is listening, so it is important that you listen to their side of the story. Be open minded – maybe it was you that messed up. Be willing to apologize, and to forgive.
Anger Between You and a Life Situation
Sometimes situations in life make us upset; maybe you didn’t get that job, or place at University or College you worked hard for, or many other personal circumstances. If you feel stuck, persevere! Often things change and move forward when we don’t expect. You can make a difference in the lives of others. You are important and have so much value. Life can often appear to “suck”, and it seems like nothing will change, but take the opportunity as a chance to build your character and remember that your attitude can make a world of difference.
Dealing with Anger
When you are angry, don’t take it out on yourself or others. Find activities that will help you release that energy in a positive way which will benefit you. Go for a walk, paint a picture, take some photos, write poetry or music, or read a book. Some of the greatest and most beautiful art comes from deep emotions. Be positive.
Remember that you are important. Your life counts, and you can make a difference in this world. If you ever need to talk about this or anything else, feel free to get in touch with us. We’re here for you.
Dealing with Anger: Types of Anger
There are three types of anger which help shape how we react in a situation that makes us angry. These are: Passive Aggression, Open Aggression, and Assertive Anger. If you are angry, the best approach is Assertive Anger. Big words, but check out what each type really means.
Passive Aggression
Many don’t like to admit that they are angry, because they don’t like confrontation – this is called passive aggression. This comes out in things like becoming silent when you are angry, sulking, procrastinating (putting stuff off you need to do), and pretending “everything is fine”. Passive aggression comes from a need to be in control. Want a hand with dealing with it? Read ahead about ‘assertive anger’.
Open Aggression
On the other hand, many people have a tendency to lash out in anger and rage, becoming physically or verbally aggressive and can often times hurt themselves or others. This is called Open Aggression. This comes out in fighting, bullying, blackmailing, accusing, shouting, bickering, sarcasm and criticism. Open aggression comes from a need to be in control. Want a hand with dealing with open aggression? Read ahead about ‘assertive anger’. Sometimes the anger can be taken out on property or even on ourselves – see the section on self-harm.
Assertive Anger
The healthy way to deal with anger is by being controlled and confident, talking and listening, and open to help in dealing with the situation. This Assertive anger can help relationships to grow. It means thinking before you speak, being confident in how you say it, yet open and flexible to the ‘other side’. It means being patient; not raising your voice; communicating how you are feeling emotionally, and really trying to understand what others are feeling. When you deal with anger assertively, you demonstrate that you are mature and care about your relationships and yourself.
Forgiveness is always important; if a person has apologized for making you angry, or if you realize that the situation “isn’t worth it”, be open to forgive. And willing to be forgiven and forgive yourself! This will help you to calm down, and will help your relationships with others to flourish.
Remember that you are important. Your life counts, and you can make a difference in this world. If you ever need to talk about this or anything else, feel free to get in touch with us. We’re here for you.
Dealing with Anger: A Quiz
When you feel angry about something or someone, take a step back and take a look at the situation. Ask yourself the following questions:
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is this situation in grand scheme of my life?
- Will the situation be important in 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 years, or even 2 hours from now?
- What could I have done to change the situation?
- What can I do now to change the situation?
- Have I just hurt myself in dealing with this situation?
- Have I hurt others in dealing with this situation, whether I meant to or not?
- Is there anybody I need to apologize to if I have hurt them? (Including yourself)
- Do I need to talk to the other person about how I’m feeling? If so, is now a good time or should it wait until things have calmed down?
- Is the issue a result of a bigger problem in my life I need to deal with?
Remember that you are important. Your life counts, and you can make a difference in this world. If you ever need to talk about this or anything else, feel free to get in touch with us. We’re here for you.